Addicted to you

I got together with M, when we were introduced by a friend. I was 11 that time. Young, reckless, free. Initially it was all fun and games. Then, when I was 15, I realised I couldn't live a day without M. Financial problems started getting in the way of M and I. I knew I had to stop this. But it was hard. Cause whenever m and I were together, we were in our own world. Nothing else mattered.

Then I met V. V was easier to manage. But I miss M's addictive taste on my mouth. I missed M's lingering taste and the after-smell scent M would leave. Even with V, I know it was nothing compared to M. Well, you know what they say about your first right. First cut is the deepest ke perr. I felt I was cheating on M, cause even when i was with V, M is all I think about. I did stopped with V, but there were several flings with P, H and N. Each lasting about several months.

Meridian Soccer Girls came into my life and I knew I had to change my lifestyle. I decided to focus on what mattered- soccer. It was hard to meet up with H, with intensive soccer trainings, burger king and studying for Alevels. By the time I was in JC, I was already stable with H. H reminded me of soccer. Haha. Lame reason to stick with H, when H sucks: hahah. But we were okay. There wasn't much problems.

During soccer competition, I tried leaving H. But it was hard. H was addictive. Not as much as M, but still. H was like the drug I needed. Throughout studying for Alevels, H and I would meet under the void deck. Nirah and Siti would constantly tell me to leave H, cause H was ruining my life. 'What about the future khai?', they would constantly ask.

Then I came to uni. H has long left my life. I was more financially indepedent. With videoezy and giving tuiton, I felt I deserve better. M was still on my mind tho. I kept thinking when M and I would ever get back together. I did patch up tho, but it was with P instead. So then, started my 2 year relationship with P. But of course, I was bored and met up with V, occassionally with N, sometimes with S and even G. But never with M. Not yet anyways.

I broke up with P about 15 days ago. It was hard. My heart was constantly pining for P's presence. P's touch, P's warmth that was absent, made me ache. I was literally sick.

Yesterday, I met M. It was a different M than the one I knew when I was 11 years old. M
was more cool, slick, refreshing. It was for a short 5 minutes. But damn... Those 5 minutes was all I needed.


I'm sorry. I tried quitting smoking. But this battle's too tough for me to handle.

Heh.
In case some gundu still wondering who the hell the initials are. Nah
M - marlboro
P - Pall Mall
N - Next
H - half time 5
s - sampoerna
G - gudang garam
V - viceroy